Home Buyers With Humor Pillows

"It might have been smart to inquire about the tides before buying this seaside place"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'Is the fire included?'

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

An exaggeration of estate agents

A cock up of builders

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

"I've downsized."

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

See the house whose property taxes were raised

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

"No pressure, but I do have another couple who are very interested."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'

"I've just been gazumped!"

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

'And this is the sunken living room.'

'Inflation allows you to live in a more expensive neighbourhood without even moving.'

'And every spring, a koi pond shows up in a corner of the basement.'

'Due to a slight technical mistake, I sold your house to me for £2.50.'

Catchment Area for Teachers

'I'm positive that 'Open House' sign pointed to next door.'

"It's a modest studio flat with own garden, 30 minutes from central London."

Shoe for Rent

Snail Estate Agents

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Uncle Sam.

'Fancy living here with the in-laws until we find a place of our own?'

"We had something in your price range. . . but it was condemned!"