Holy Text Editor Prints

God's Proofreader

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

A Copy Editor and His Dog

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

'It's the first animal in their dictionary, Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first...'

Editor.

"I have an app for that."

Meet the Author

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

The Ordered List

"You are responsible for editing your thoughts. I'm just here to audit them."

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

"I lost all my hair to the texting bubbles that came and went without saying a word."

Books of Tablets

'Please hold your applause until I've read all ten.'

You Have 1 New Messages

"I translate books from English into better English."

Bertram de Born (The Divine Comedy).

Safer Torah

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'Scripts department' "I think old James has lost the plot"

"Grandma just texted back some acronym I've never heard of. What's HUH?"

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'

"I think we'll put it out as a self-help guide."

"Thou," not "you"! "Shalt," not "shallow"! "Sayeth," not "sawtooth"! Gah, I'm gonna smite somebody! God's Autocorrect.

'You called for tech support?'

"One of you shall betray me - Four of you shall get book deals."

"I'd like to see what we can do about fixing your aspect ratio."

Speling Bee

'I want to charter a tour of the promised land, double occupancy for 40,000...'

This bible is finished so can you do a spell check please Father Barnabus.

"Got anything to contribute to this month's marriage newsletter?"

Book Signing: All-time Best Selling Book, Meet Author Today.