Hollywood Analyst T-Shirts

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Tom Hanks

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

Hollywood Breakup

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Hollywood producer.

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

When lice dream.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

Hollywood Think Tank

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

Gene Tierney caricature

Peter Lorre caricature