Holistic Medicine Pillows

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

Acupuncture Cheap

"Have you tried St. John's Wort?"

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'Who would have thought there was a market for it? We're going to be rich George!...'

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

The New Age Dentist.

Acupuncture clinic

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

Alternative Medicine.

Doctor with Teddy - "Take this. It will help you sleep."

'It's anxiety. Don't worry, vitamin B happy.'

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

Connect This, Woo-Woos

"Tell you what, dude, I'm writing you a prescription for a scented candle and some granola."

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

"Your life line is a little weak, but we can fix that."

"The amethyst has calming properties – which is great when you’re out of Xanax."

"I'm hoping for herb immunity."

Right, like you're the first shrink to recommend aromatherapy.

Alternative medicine

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'