Holistic Living Explorer Pillows

"He went to an alternative therapy seminar to find ways of reducing his stress levels..."

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

"Gym for regular people" "No intimidating trainers!" "Lo-tech" "Less is more!" "Not plastic" "Fluffy and scented" "No mirrors" "Full service restaurant"

The Farmer Sutra.

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Odd Spas

'My guru thinks you're nuts.'

"Tell you what, dude, I'm writing you a prescription for a scented candle and some granola."

Danger Quicksand

People crossing the street while texting use white canes.

"I love talking to you about my problems. We should do a podcast."

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

Important balloons, $30.

'Oversensitive Car Alarm'

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

'Please tell me there's more to this than this.'

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

"The latest version of your life is now available to download."

'It's an electronic pipe and heated slippers...he's a thoroughly modern old fart.'

'He glued himself to the floor again.'

"What's the right age to tell a child that she's ironic?"

Nowadays when we say 'front yard', we mean it literally.

'I think your overdoing the pineapple juicing!'

"A tattoo? You're kidding. It sure looks like a suit."