Holiday Songs Pillows

'If you're thinking of getting me any of those gifts...'

The worlds Longest Rendition of 'Joy To The World'.

Where your mind & battle are los

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Night of the Latkes

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

"Ninja bread men"

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tourists and their Pets.

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

'How very Cumbria.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

Non-Denominational Carols

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Now it fits.'

'I told you that letting him have a pet would cause a problem at migration time...'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."