Holiday Sleuth Prints

'HA! Just as I thought! These are DAD'S fingerprints, not SANTA'S.'

Eco-Anxiety For All Seasons

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

'How come the rabbit didn't have good luck with the foot?'

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

Net Zero Superstitions

'Oh dear. My husband looks suspicious.'

I don't trust that guy.

"This mixture of herbs and spices will rid the casa of ghosts! I will send them fleeing into the night!"

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"Hundreds of looted Christmas gifts. . . A missing reindeer. . . does that ring a bell, Mr. Rudolph?"

'It looks fishy to me.'

Arthur Conan Doyle

Undercover Santa

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

'I'm superstitious, I never walk under a ladder, I touch wood...' '..And he never works on a week with a Tuesday in it!'

Red Sox Fans vs The Rest Of Humanity

'Dear, if the GPS can't find your nutritional yeast flakes, how can I?'

"Apparently, this curse has a lot more going for it than we figured."

I never know what to get mom for Christmas. It's simple. Free shipping. I always choose something cool that she wouldn't get for herself. Oooo

Snowman Murder

"Eeek! I just realized that your my 13th paranoid this month!"

Obvious problem.

'Excuse me!..D'you work here?'

Santa using reindeer antlers to play snooker

"Come back when you're sober, and we'll see if you still have that double vision."

"Do you think he'll go for it?"

"A birdbath, eh? -- you some kinda voyeur?"

"How are those?"

Support group for mothers with kids who step on cracks.

"He's been!"

"It looks very different when the tides out"