Holiday Law Buff Gifts

'My client wishes to seek compensation for the emotional distress of being given a game in which he found it impossible to progress beyond level 4.'

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

Christmas on Other Planets.

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'What if I promise not to look?'

The Latest Shooting...Looking for a Trend.

Rudolph With His Nose So Bright.

'Look, Your Honor -- We're both over-fifty white males, right?'

Policeman

'How do I celebrate Spring? Cinco de Vino.'

Hit by a golf ball and injured...

Your Honor, We Find The Defendant 'Naughty'.

Ignorance of the Law

Pleading the fifth is one thing, counselor. Drinking it is quite another.

Motion denied. Your lips say "motion denied," but your eyes say "approach the bench."

"Of course I stand behind my work, counselor. I'm a proctologist."

"For Goodness' Sake! Slow down and watch you're going..."

'Bailiff, there's a fight in the jury room. Someone turned off Dr. Phil.'

"It's your attorney."

the Lesser-known Nogs

"In many Latin American countries, Columbus Day is celebrated as 'Dia de la Raza.' In The Bahamas, it's called 'Discovery Day.' In Argentina, it's known as 'Day of the Americas.'"

North Pole Dances

The First Day of Christmas

"Five year non-exclusive? We just want to abduct him."

"Are you aware under the new terrorism laws I can hold you without charge for up to 90 days?"

'Identity theft, eh? -- Just who do you think you are?'

Conveyor belt takes solicitor along path to becoming a judge

How's My Stop & Searching?

'You've got toys, I've got triple fudge cookies - let's deal!'

'According to this, they're suing you for illegal entry and the theft of one mince pie and a glass of sherry.'

'Looks good to me, but I'll run it past Bill O'Reilly!'

"That's correct, Sir, for one month only a special buy one get one free offer on super injunctions."

"Unbelievable—Lohri's not even over and already the stores are putting out their Baisakhi stuff."

'Vote union - pass it on!'

"Truth in advertising."