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Silent Night.

'I know about the council cutbacks - but it's not my idea of 'festive lights'...'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Stonehenge Sandcastle

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

"Gesundheit!"

'Isn't that the ghastly couple we met last summer in Rock?'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"AS a matter of fact, yes, you have told me you vacationed on Earth."

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

Santa Elevator

'You know when kids are good or bad? Are you with NSA?'

Yep the kids are loving the hotel they've made lots of new friends.

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Santa School.

It was brighter than most, and Biggins allowed himself a quiet smile as he contemplated the immense speeds involved as it burned itself up in the atmosphere...

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

Cut out and keep your own Baby Jesus.

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

"I heard that Santa's cutting out the 30% employee discount on toys."

Swearing and fighting in a caravan

Santa entering a pool for a swim

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

'...My tree! - No my tree!!'

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

Aliens collide with Santa.

Arctic Caravan Breaks