Hoarding Satirist Prints

"Constipated, what a *#*##**# joke!!"

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Pirates at the mall.

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

"Enough with the garage sales, Harold."

Dear (some of) my fellow lefties. . . shut up and get the hell off my side.

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

"If we get a bigger place, we'll just accumulate more giraffes."

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good things Dad kept them!"

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

It looks like wood, but it's actually vinyl siding.

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"I plan to retire when bank robbery becomes legal!"

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

'Steven! Those nuts are for guests! Stop hiding them!'

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

"Honey, are you hoarding lawyers again?"

Whale Pattern Balding

"He is so gross: He is a hoarder you see, and keeps all his old skins..."

'Your resume states that you've worked with 2 presidents, won the Nobel Prize and climbed Mt. Everest. That's all fine and dandy, but how are you at telemarketing?'

Valentines for Real Estate

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

'If it's my food supply for the winter then its different from hoarding.'

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

Estate agents lined up for sale during house-price slump.