History Hobbit T-Shirts

'I told Orpheus not to do the music festival.'

At the Museum

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

"Magnus! How many times must I tell you...Skulls of your enemies go on the top rack!!!"

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

Peace in shackles.

Hansel meets his biological mother.

"Just my luck."

Robot Attack in Bath

Grimm's Fairytales - The Golden Bird

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia." "That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries." "That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages." "What was your conception of the Middle Ages?" "Well... It was... Well, knights, maidens, dragons... Mostly dragons. And elves."

'Here, you have it. I don't think I'll be using it again.'

'All this 'history' stuff you teach about - is it based on actual events?'

'Apparently he discovered accountancy.'

'...Noah really knows how to build an Ark.'

Cycles of evolution and destruction

"You must stop digging up the past."

"I am Thor, God of Thunder - and this is my brother, Low-key."

"Occupiers have often forced people who are polar opposites to live in one artificial 'country'."

"According to our information you have placed a looted treasure in an undiscovered land..."

North Korea tests a hydrogen bomb.