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Papal Opposition to Modern Civilisation

Henry I of England

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

Library. Frank I need to locate some biographies. Do you know where there are? This King Tut book is stored in a box down in the basement. The Napoleon biography is with the short stories, and the Henry Ford book is in the autobiography section. Unfortunately, this Amelia Earhart profile is missing - it mysteriously disappeared years ago. And what about the Albert Einstein bio? It's right up there on the top shelf. The book about Einstein and his theories is way over your head, Ernie!

'No, make the dominant race out of placental mammals — marsupials would lead to all kind of abortion controversies.'

Miss Me Yet?

Knights of the Coffee Table.

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"You're fired."

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"I think he was a celebrity."

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

Southwark Fair.

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

The International and May Day Terrorism

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

Cut!

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

The First Fire Stick

Archimedes, Galileo, Copernicus

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

Paul Ree

Trump secret police

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'