Historical Reenactment Participation Pillows

"You said you'd be home at half a candle."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"Meet the scribe"

Pirate

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Piracy on a boating lake

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

Blue Dress and Feather

Sundial Time

"Hipsters"

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Missing You.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight."

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

'I think they're up to something.'

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

Goddess

"But I use all of them!"

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"I'd say business was brisk."

Blue Dress

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Young Montague's full of himself."