Historical Anecdotes T-Shirts

Sooner or Later

'When I was your age we had to carry our water from the spring in a bucket...and then we'd get it out with a dipper!'

A Hole in the Dike

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'Caesar salad?'

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

Rocket Ark

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"I've been window-shopping..."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

Newton discovers surrealism

"Now that you mention it, I think that I too may have a Master's in Education."

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

Margaret Cavendish

'Ferguson's not at his desk -- He must be sleepwalking again!'

"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....

'Okay, but don't try to operate it until I invent insurance.'

Why the dodo became extinct

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

"Ha, ha, wait … so Cheryl from accounting, ha, ha, ha, is your, ha, ha, wife?!!"

"I just invented this. I call it "freezer bag"."

Napkin Writer

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

He began with an anecdote, spoke off the cuff, digressed from an aside, and flew off on a tangent.

'The 'Lord's Prophet,' eh? - I don't remember voting for you!'

'If you didn't know how long a cubit was, you should have asked...'

'Remember, me, anything short of victory, and civil war buffs will be replaying your defeat in battlefield re-enactment for generations to come.'

"When we said 'Lead us not into temptation,' we didn't mean it had to be a DESERT!"

'Of course they haven't been tested on animals!'

'I gave Brian his marching orders last night and he goose-stepped round the bedroom!'