High Street Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Let's push the boat out and go next door."

Cut Price

A women in a shoeshop.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

'Perfect. Do you deliver?'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

Why markets crash.

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Jumping Wall Street.

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

Customer Convention

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

SupermarketAwful Market.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

"AXP 0.78, AIG 1.12, T 2.63. . ."

Self-Checkout.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"Market euphoria is at an all time high."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger