High School Comedy Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"Why didn't you say 'hi' to Sylvia Sanchez?"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

Stairlift around cliff face.

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

The First Fire Stick

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

Divine Desk Bins

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

A baby using a heavy duty drill

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

'Oddly, few archaeologist comment on the flossing habits of Easter Island inhabitants.'

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

Clown Delivering Babies.

Romantic Cruises....except for cases of seasickness.

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

'It's a chicken.'

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

"You might want to save that for your blog."

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

Billy strip: help with homework.

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"Where do you see yourself in five light-years?"

"So, how's your scary movie?"