
"Look – you want a new career as a fireman, that's fine. But I wouldn't wear that thing around here in the mean time."
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"Look – you want a new career as a fireman, that's fine. But I wouldn't wear that thing around here in the mean time."
Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.
"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"
'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'
'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'
'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'
'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'
"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."
Hellbillies.
"From here on out it's term and conditions."
'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'
Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.
Special Place in Hell...
'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'
'Have you got a mirror, Doctor - He wants to see what he looks like?'
'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'
'On a more positive note, your hot flashes will seem relatively cool.'
Devil with Fire and Brimstone In-Trays.
Hades Weather Channel. Tomorrow will continue gloomy with lots of scattered firestorms and high pressure fronts. And, as always, an infinitesimal chance of freezing over.
'Don't get me wrong - hell is awful, but it could be so much more hellish. We have much to learn from them.'
Jimmy Hoffa in hell.
'It's another 'Wish you were here' postcard from my friend in Hell.'
'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'
Family situation, "Ooh he's got his dad's bolts!"
'This is why I had to pad my resume.'
Watch out for that kid - he has an itchy booger finger.
"Well... Can't say I'm surprised!"
"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"
"Well, I've finally gotten out of the office."
That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.
Type that up, make ten million copies and then shred them.
"As you can see, this front will continue for quite some time."
'Hey you! You work here, don't you? You people could be in real trouble with the fire marshal for not having any smoke detectors! I assume they make regular inspections around here?'
Angel Puppet.
A cold day in Hell.
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