Heel Hero T-Shirts

'Your feet are killing me!'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

He won't sit, but he heels well.

A women in a shoeshop.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Mister Pretty Shoes

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

"Do you do much walking?"

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

Smile

"I like keeping bees, but it's so hard keeping all their names straight."

Say speed

Make up your mind. Next exit 500 miles.

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

'I don't like your attitude, Peterson, whatever it is.'

'You got here just in time - These shoes are killing you.'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'Nothing cements the relationship like the chance to get it in writing.'

"Oh, shut up. Who isn't in your shoes?"

'Your Dad'll give your bike back when he realises he won't qualify for 2012.'

Prehistoric bikes and their advanced helmets.

Way to go

'We're not interested in how you work with people, just computers.'

"I just adore these shoes! The clicking of staccato heels is so empowering. . . Do these come in a flat?"

"These come with a Health and Safety warning..."

'Quick Betty, come round to the Red Lion and wear your highest heels.'