Hedge Funds Pillows

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

The president's men

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"When I said that if only poor people worked a little harder they might get some money, I didn't mean my money."

Cigars for the Upcoming Bear Market

"Your farm's doing well John. What's your secret?"

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

Man leaving 'Wall St, closed-end mutual funds' building with hand full of money.

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

"Today the market closed at exactly the right price, and all buyers and sellers were very happy."

Investments: Yes, we have organic, local & cruelty-free stocks.

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

The Economy Discovers FFF!

'Your investments in sub prime mortgages have become collectors items now! Aren't you excited?'

The New Square Mile Regulator.

"I crunched the numbers until cautiously opportunistic."

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

'Psst. . . tell me about your 'obscene dividend' fund.'

"This investment will make a pile of money. Of course, a good question is 'for whom?'"

What goes up...

'He runs a very successful hedge fund.'

"In view of climate change, I'd put all my money into ice cream, mineral water and weapons!"

'We ride the storm until greed is back.'

Hedge Car

Hedge funds make billions from short selling Coronavirus stocks.

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

Man with a Plan

'It's not really a growth OR a value portfolio. It's more of a feel-good portfolio.'

'Forget about it. What's to say that Frobisher's apples are any better than the hedge fund he used to run?'

'Our vows didn't say anything about hedge fund mis-management!'