Hedge Fund Enthusiast Mugs

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

'Resources dug deep, Hedge funds were trimmed and Chinese stocks were hungry for more in an otherwise slow day for Metaphors'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

The president's men

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Wall Street Couch

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Day trading.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

wealth investment