Heavenly Show Hoarder Pillows

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

"Sorry I locked us out of the ship but if waving this cloth we found makes you happy. . . I'll be happy to do it."

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

Bobbies library of jeans

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

James Russell Lowell

I see you've caught my honey robber.'

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

'Steven! Those nuts are for guests! Stop hiding them!'

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

"He is so gross: He is a hoarder you see, and keeps all his old skins..."

'I hear he's lobbying for tax laws that will let him declare us his dependents.'

"We do have a wonderful art collection, but it has taken over somewhat: We either need to have a bower or get professional help..."

Of course it's filled with my old skins, it's my shed.

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

Fantasy Football Awards: 'The trophy to the Monday morning quarterback with the widest end zone...'

Bad News Headlines: War in Iraq...Largest Peace Time Deficit.

"Oh, it's not food, it's my money: I don't trust banks..."

"After this, we'll set down some traps. That should deal with the rest of them."

"Harold wanted to make sure no one takes his chair while we're on holiday."

Wife's head is mounted on hunter's wall.

"Why am I Sales Person of the Year? I already have a buyer for this tacky trophy!"

"Aside from the hours of DVR'ed shows you have yet to watch, what else keeps you together?"