Heavenly Discounts T-Shirts

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

Airports.

'And my board approved this?'

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"How much is the sign?"

Hole Sale

Sale today - 50% off everything!

Shopping Torture

'They've got a great deal here. When you buy one meal, I get mine half price!'

'Shove' (at big sale).

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

'So do you want one with an accelerator, or one with brakes?'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

Ed's Bar & Grill: Schadenfreude Hour 5-7

Angel Nightclub: The Head of a Pin.

"Here's ten dollars off the books, Mrs. Gregory. It's our way of reestablishing customer confidence."

Celestial Music

"Harps only? Down, please."

Special: Buy any tattoo get a MOM tattoo free!

"Every hand I draw is a royal flush! This really is heaven!"

"This can't be heaven, where's the shops?"

Angel with angel wings for moustache meets a regular angel.

Virtual Mall Walking

'Mmmm, Boy oh boy Sue, this Caramel Tart is TRULY divine! I feel like i've DIED and gone to HEAVEN!'

'If you keep walking, you'll save a hundred percent.'

Union Rep