Heartache Heroes Pillows

Joe's Bar: "Forget Her" Hour, 5-8.

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

Heart Health Levels

Coastguard

"Cardiac day patients?"

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

The Children's Hospital

The Invention of Country Music.

'Heroic stoicism has its rewards.'

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

Emotional Support Dog

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

"Ok, first off... ever have one of those days when you just can't seem to do anything right?"

'That's Saint Throbbold. Patron saint of migraine.'

"These NHS types are ALWAYS complaining about SOMETHING!"

"No, not 'delighted', the midwife is asking how 'dilated' you are!"

"We lose a little dexterity, but we gain a lot of confidence."

'Has there ever been such a sickly group of rugged individualists.'

Medical insurance reminder

'I disagree with you, doctor. It's not just a hangnail. According to the Internet, it's a rare genetic disorder. . .'

Broken-hearted young man placing an advertisement in the paper.

Fertility Clinic next to Headache Clinic

Please give U.S. Fire & Flooding Victims

'Nature makes me nervous!'

"I didn't expect to see you again, Mr Sykes. The tablets worked then?"

"It's a 'Dear Long John' letter."