Healthy Snack Advocates T-Shirts

"Well, thanks for the box of raisins, but we can't promise you a very good Trick or Treat rating on Yelp."

Tartine

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Rage.

Chez Nous Menu

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Little league world series of poker.

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Is the MSG local?"

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Queen of Quinoa

To do before Saturday...

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Love is when you watch television together.

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"Goal!"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Sheltering in place.

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."