
'It's bad news I'm afraid. Your illness isn't on our performance targets.'
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'It's bad news I'm afraid. Your illness isn't on our performance targets.'
"Laughter is the best medicine, which is fortunate, since that's all our health plan now offers."
'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'
Doctor to patient 'Your health insurance only covers placebos.'
"Stiff neck, blurred vision, and Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, all due to extended time in front of a computer. I think I just discovered the ICD-10 code for my job!"
"You're denied coverage because of your pre-existing condition of having lousy health insurance."
Virtual Doctor
"And how do expect to pay for this, Mr Morton?"
'We are losing him...I need more meaningless targets NOW!'
'His vital signs are fine. That means his insurance just ran out.'
Who blames who in health Insurance problems
"I'm not a miracle worker. I can't do the surgery for less than four thousand."
Slimming down the budget
"Take a seat. You will be seen in order of profitability."
"Free prescription drugs."
'My version of a healthcare bill provides universal coverage for all, and is deficit neutral. That's because it does not cover pre-existing organs.'
'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'
'I'm afraid we've lost all your records but a focus group we consulted was 49% in favour of you being pregnant.'
"Doctors said that although the approach is still experimental, it may prove an effective weapon in the fight against health-care reform."
'I can't go cold turkey...just let me interfere a little. A few targets, that's all I need just a few targets.'
"My doctor told me to avoid any unnecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."
"We found a problem with your bill. It's too low. But I'm confident we can get it into the unaffordabe range soon."
'I'm sorry, Ms. Pelosi. You'll have to pass it so we can find out what's in it.'
US Healthcare, then and now: Survival of the fittest. . . Survival of the wealthest.
'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'
'Rooms are £200 a day. Did you want nurses...? Bed...? Sheets...?...'
"I'd kill for better mortality data."
'Don't you realize how irresponsible it is to show up at the emergency room with no insurance? Don't you realize how many people we have to overcharge to make up for this?'
"This prescription for Adderall will help you work hard enough to afford the drug you really need."
Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.
NHS Whistleblowing.
NHS development plan
"...you haven't been waiting long enough for treatment."
Gravestone: Beyond Healthcare Reform.
"Step aside, punk....let a professional show you how it's done..."
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