Healthcare Marketer Prints

'Now go out there, and tell all your friends to get some prescriptions filled this week.'

'...and would you like to upgrade today's payment with your x-rays on a t-shirt, coffee mug, or photo package?'

"It's little Pharma. Want some baby aspirin?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'How fast can you hype?'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Apples for sale

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

vaccine wars.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."