Healthcare Jest Lover Pillows

Surgery accident.

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Time for your pills.'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

Welsh practice launches formal objection to 'unmanageable' new housing.

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

The importance of paying attention in med school.

Get well soon!

Healthy Patients Only

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

New Marvel Heroes

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"You call all this a side effect?"

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.