Healthcare Gag Collector Prints

Jeff has a Case of the Squits.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

'Don't you love the clean, fresh smell of the morning air?'

"There were some squiggly bits left over after the operation, so we gave you a doggie bag."

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

"I'm in for observation."

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

"Bingo! Found it!"

"You must see someone about your problem."

Doctor consulting a textbook.

"It can cut through anything ... well, almost anything. There still is governmental red tape."

'That's why patients shouldn't be told certain things.'

"It's a straightforward operation, but there can be complications such as; growing wings and wearing a halo."

"Don't worry. I'm doing someone's liver resection tomorrow and I'll grab one of their kidneys."

'Angiogram.'

Drunken Dis-orderly

'You're really not in control of yourself!'

"You can't check my pulse while I'm checking your pulse!"

"Oh, those aren't my diplomas – they're my medical malpractice attorney's."

Armadillo playing accordion.

'I'm going to exaggerate the seriousness of your illness...It'll make you feel better.'

'This milk smells funny.'

"Being God just doesn't pay as much as you'd think it would."