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Coronavirus Global Alert

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

Get well soon!

Healthy Patients Only

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"You call all this a side effect?"

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Drug vending machines at hospital.

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

'Thanks for inviting me to dinner - it's really great!'

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.