Health Store Clerk Mugs

"It's toxic but it's all natural toxic."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

"Would you like to try them out?"

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

A man sitting in the grass reading

"Do you have anything else by the same author?"

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

University Book Store.

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

How much would you take off for cash?

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

Which is the genetically modified corn?"

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

Book Store. Information. In what section would I find guides to government regulations? "Books on Red Tape".

'Does my posterior appear oversized in this?'

"What's wrong with you? This isn't what I want! Do you know what you're doing? Can you get me a smarter clerk?"

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

'..Can I interest you in our new fragrance - 'Are''