Health Risk Analyzer T-Shirts

'Today the danger of eating eggs is up 2 3/8, red meat is unchanged French fries are up 4 1/4...'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Walk upright?. . . But what about banana peels?'

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

Stock Market

election polling

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

Non-Drinkers and Smokers Insurance Policy

Latest science behind social distancing advice

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

William Tell's son wears hi-vis jacket and hard hat

"Let the minutes show we're not taking the pension fund and putting it all on the 2.30 at Newmarket."

'You took out a policy with us Tuesday morning and had a fire Tuesday afternoon...What was the delay?'

'We just need to increase our collision policy enough to cover the amount of damage to our car from Joy backing into our neighbor's car, rick.'

'According to a recent issue of 'psychology today', all your fears are well founded.'

"How would you describe your attitude to risk?"

Risk perception/Risk assessment/Risk communication/Risk management

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

"Does anyone know CPR?"

'What happens if I die young?'

Take no shortcuts! Assess the risks!...

"Having conducted an incisive 360 degree investigation into the events and concomitant risks associated with recent catastrophic losses we’ve determined that ‘shit happens.’"

"Oh, that's Mr Norris. He's our risk analyst."

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

'Well he certainly does a very thorough risk analysis.'

In and Out Tray

'How do I know you're legit?'

Probability: 10,000-1, 150-1, 6-1, 2-5, 1-20, 50-1, 10,000-1.

Actuarial Tables of the Gods

"I gave up smoking to annoy my wife by living longer."