Health Plan Strategist T-Shirts

Social Security Medicare Office - Now Hiring Phd In Theoretical Mathematics to Explain the Medicare Drug Options.

'First we'll do a whole series of tests. With a medical plan as good as yours we're bound to come up with something.'

"You've come to me just in time. Your HMO is going to stop covering this."

"What happens if I lose a leg?"

NHS targets.

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

"It's the hospital board performing surgery on the budget."

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

New initiatives

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

'That does it. . . Little Freddie is not going to law school! He's going to become an oncologist, Mary a gerontologist and Stevie a pharmacist! We'll be covered!'

Dick rode through the night, the job offer to become a Pension Investment Opportunities Advisor was just too good to miss.

Virus Physics

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

"I eat cheap greasy food so I can save for my cardiologist bills in the future."

"I raised three kids, so you could say I was in risk management."

"I'm afraid your Christmas present hasn't gone down too well!"

Pension Matters

"It's ridiculous to claim that we've been rewarding investment managers foolishly!"

"My new health plan only allows in network complaining."

'I'm altering my position frequently to avoid back strain.'

'Our best bet is to ignore nutrition completely, and stress its shape and color, and the toy in the box.'

Cartoon about the high cost of health insurance.

'We have a wide range of Annuities'

"And, as a new employee, you are immediately entitled to participate in the company's proactive health plan."

"I recommend using your third wish to prevent joint pain in later years."

All this binge eating and rinking I'm doing is making me really fat so I'll need a full check-up in July 2006 - GPs must provide advance bookings.

Cost/Value

"You have a history of running away from your problems. Until we address that, I'll need to be paid up front."

'It's not who you know or what you know that helps you succeed. It's what you know about who you know, that you can hold over their head, that will help you succeed.'

'How do you want to pay for this, 60 easy payments or 12 hard ones?'

'Deep thought may be some time.'

'...and with our DeLuxe Plan, you actually get the unlisted number of your doctor's answering service!'

Bureaucrats controlling the NHS

'Follow the solid line.'