Health Nut With A Twist T-Shirts

'Yes, I did give it an oil change myself. I changed to a healthy low calorie oil with no transfats.'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

Triple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. Doctor's orders. I thought you might say that. That's why I brought along my doctor. He can attest that I'm perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. Mortimer Park is perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. His bones are strong, his blood pressure is dandy, and he's got the pancreas of a man half his age. Give my patient a quadruple espresso, stat!!! You're a great ventriloquist, but your aim

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

A woman identifies a cake in a police lineup.

The Ribbon, Nemesis Of Crime....

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

'I don't care what anyone says! This is really hard work!'

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'My feet are killing me.'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

How about going easy on the carbs

Advocado

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

All Natural Nothing

"Steamed vegetables."

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

At the market

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.