Health Myth Busters Pillows

"Maybe if I eat lots of it, I'll get immune!"

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

"I don’t care what you read on social media, I cannot prescribe chocolate mini eggs to help with your weight loss!"

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

More GM foods.

The real costs of alternative facts!!

'Try not to get into any more mischief '

"Everything is fat-free. So why am I still fat?"

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

"Stop reading this stupid paper."

"Where on earth did you read that alcohol is good for you?"

'Who said that horses aren't carnivores?'

"I've searched every book, also the Internet, so in desperation...I've come to you, doctor!"

Press reports suggest that caffeine could provide protection against a range of cancers.

Entrance Exam for the Mildred School of Medicine

Clancy Strip: Remedies for a Cold

"In health news, everything you thought was good for you is now bad for you."

Man holding container entitled 'Die supplement', with newspaper headline stating 'Vitamin & mineral health risks'.

'Are you SURE they're a good source of potassium?'

'Oh yeah, really healthy! You do realize that cereal is just another soy based product?'

'It hurts when I do this.'

'I've got every disease in this book except hypochondria...'

"I can guarantee you'll lose £50 as soon as you hand over your credit card."

You can't just claim your scones may reduce risk of heart attack. Why not? Tons of food makers do it. You just have to find a scientific authority to back you up. And that's what you did. Darn right. Don't wake up if the oatmeal may cure blindness. Dr. Nutrition. Zzzz.

'Don't believe everything you read on the net.'

"And folds. . . this amazing product is endorsed by President Trump hisself. . ."

"It's a hoax!!!!"

Ask your doctor if hydroxychloroquine is right for you