Health Misinformation Humor Gifts

"The latest news says we should drink our own urine to protect against covid. . ."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

'Side effects may include....'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

NHS notice - This is a bring your own bed hospital

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

'She says she has a prenatal appointment.'

"My doctor told me to get outdoors more, so now I put on more yard sales."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

"I didn't even get a balloon."

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

'It's quite common with men your age. You've got a silver duct tapeworm.'