Health Insurance Enthusiasts Prints

'Why do you keep this job? It's killing you.'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"He looks so much like his dad."

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

'GM apples prevent Migraine'

Get well soon!

Healthy Patients Only

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"You call all this a side effect?"

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'