Health Info Hound T-Shirts

"I mean, it can't hurt to google your symptoms before you go ahead and actually call the dermatologist, right? . . . Larry?"

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

Be Healthy

'Fitness guru.'

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'I told you not to look up your ailments on the internet' - computer screen reads 'You have 3 days to live',

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

The NHS begins using outside contractors for routine operations.

"In my workout this morning I hit a new personal best, but on a seasonally adjusted basis, my numbers actually fell."

A tessellation of running figures.

Hip Hop Physician: 'Put a halt on salt and cut back on fat. Are you down with that?'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

I'm not fighting you until you show me your mask.

'Which? Covid-19 Variant' Guide.

'A crack team of scientists searches tirelessly for a cure for baldness.'

Drive Thru Flu Clinic

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

"Oh that's just a myth. It wasn't one extra straw that did this. It was a Steinway."

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

'I'd say it's a fungal infection.'

The Diabetic Hummingbird Feeder

"It's typical cold/flu medicine, but the extra strength advertising made me buy it."

Body weight app on mobile

"We saw a movie about mononucleosis in health class. It was called, 'Germs of Endearment.'"

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

"O.K. Which one of you worried well is the most worried?"

'It has been one of those days when every patient has read the same medical article in Reader's Digest.'

"Some plastic surgeon did a marvelous job on your nose, Miss. Levine. May I have the honor to do likewise for you

'Professor, why did you choose to become a leading authority on medicinally important plants?' 'I'm a hypochondriac!'

'Is the information fresh?'

'Hepatitits A' coming aggressively from the television towards a man in a chair

"The doctor says your vital signs are strong, but the IT guy says your portal password is weak."