Health Humor Enthusiasts Prints

Kidney Stone Quality Control Dept.

'Mr Stevens, I have good news and bad news for you... The good news is You're not hypochondriac!'

Carpal Tunnel of Love

'I don't think you're supposed to roll them up and smoke them. . .'

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

'You may be feeling unwell because of the amount of medication you're taking...I'll just see if there's something I can give you for that.'

Slimming club with 'Thin' and 'Stout' trays.

'That's the biggest cavity I've ever seen, ever seen?'

'The doctor said you've been whining about taking a baby aspirin everyday, so he's switching you to crybaby aspirin.'

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

"Mopping up free radicals with cranberry juice - is that your big anti-terrorist idea of the day?"

"We try to diversify."

"Wuhan virus, Ebola, West Nile, Asian Flu. . . what's wrong with good old American diseases?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Lactose Intolerant

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

PSA Banter.

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Providing Healthcare For All

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

"Gesundheit!"

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'