Health Humor Enthusiast Mugs

'All we have to do is place them on the waiting room chairs!'

Groups of menopausal women in clinic.

"Your skin is enlarged."

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'Don't worry. After we run some tests, we'll know for sure what's causing your headaches.'

'If you trust your search engine more than you trust me, maybe you should switch doctors.'

'The lab report just came in. The lab is in fine shape!'

'But I take the pill everytime I become pregnant, and it doesn't help.'

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

Doctor to man: 'Your kidney stone test came back. You didn't pass.'

Osteoporosis Clinic

'Your breathing test results would be normal ... if you were 3'8' and 150 years old.'

'I have good news and bad news. The good news, you're not a hypochondriac...'

'This is only a placebo, but trust me, it works!'

Gallstone patient sees sign - 'this too shall pass.'

"Guess what face I'm making now."

MRI scanner.

'Do you have something that's good for you, but tastes like it's bad for you?'

'Upsize your children' - 20 to 25 % of children are obese.

Dislocated Joints Clinic

'We, first, I'll think we'll cut back on those muscle relaxants!'

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

"Good news-the lump is nothing to worry about."

'Did you cut your lip while shaving or is that evidence you want to listen to me?'

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'If you're stumped, I've got lots more great symptoms.'

'What does it me when you have no symptoms at all?'

'I couldn't find anything wrong. You'll need to see a nook and cranny specialist.'

CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL, 'Emergency, sir! -- Hypochondria has reached epidemic proportions!'

"I'm not you regular doctor. Your regular doctor thinks you're a pain in the ass."

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

'Will this prescription interact with the meds already in my drinking water?'

'Try to become as active as your bladder.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."