Health Food Experimenter Mugs

'To show support for Daddy's low cholesterol diet, we'll all be eating porridge for breakfast.'

"You can juice most things, but not a burger with fries!"

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

"She's my hero. Life gave her lemons and she came up with pomegranate cranberry lemonade."

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

'I made it chocolate so it wouldn't show the dirt.'

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

Woman serving tea from a huge barbecue-like teacup.

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'