Health-conscious Viewer T-Shirts

"I can't watch these shows. Everyone's too...close together."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Wash your hands

Running

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

Flash Cuisine

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

Lactose intolerance.

Stop smoking,instantly.

'Is it organic?'

Spring.

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

Football fans in corona times

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

"We're very green here, we recycle everything."

'At least my blood pressure is nice and low.'

"Middle age is when you finally get your head together, but your body starts falling apart."

'Oh now that is just wrong.'