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"Did you dial the rabbit response line?"

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Physician tending a mummy.

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Cardiac Recovery.

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'