Health And Fitness Prints

Child cycling across 4x4 rooftops: 'Isn't it nice to see children cycling to school?'

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'Doctor said to burn more calories.'

'DIET? EXERCISE?... Can't you just OPERATE?'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

'Lies! Nothing but lies!'

'I always said those implants were dangerous.'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

'Do you know if there's a candy machine in the building?'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

"I was gonna try yoga, but I don't actually bend so that's not going to work."

Man is dumber because of his smartwatch.

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

'Your problem, Mr.Fitzhue, is that you're a type-A personality in a model-T body.'

'If I get dizzy, and pass out there's a cherry danish in my lunch box.'

"With some rest, vitamins and mild exercise, that metal fatigue should clear up in just a few weeks!"

'Great, the 53,927th plate of cookies tonight. I'll never get my health insurance bonus now!'

"Use thy core!"

'The company bought you a health club membership, and now you want to take sick leave?'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'Right... twenty squats and fifty press ups or no fit note.'

"A gastric band is a sophisticated medical procedure...THAT is a tight belt."

"It may help as part of your weight loss campaign...but it's a little extreme"

'I have to lose some weight...Every time I want to rest on my laurels I find I need wider laurels.'

Bad for you but to die for

Basketball injuries.

"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."

Honest weight and the not so honest weight.

'You need to go on a diet! I need liposuction.'

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

"How is the detox going?"

'It's a simple matter of checks and balances: your waistline has spread and your brain has shrunk.'

'I wouldn't stand on it. It makes mum cry every time she does it.'

"I'm cutting you off."

A large woman smiles, as she notices that a slimming club's exit door is only half as wide as the entrance door.