Health Advocate T-Shirts

"It's my smallpox vaccine scar. . ."

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

Depressed, not sleeping, low self esteem... still enough about me, what about you?

'My child has an eating disorder. She likes vegetables.'

'Those 'light' cigarettes have given you 'light' cancer'

"...so today you'll be vaccinating Jenny against measles, mumps and child-targeted television commercials."

"Our scientists say it would be a public health hazard, but market research shows it would sell like hot cakes - what do you think?"

'This nicotine patch is guaranteed to make you stop smoking.'

"You need to get more exercise. Blink twice if you understand."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'Ok...so maybe it's more than just a 'bad habit'...'

"The good news is thet a number of GPs have agree to take action on a number of dangerous 'lifestyle' issues..." "And the bad news?..." "They've decided the best way to reduce their risk is by retiring!"

'It's partly glandular and partly 8,500 calories per day.'

Sugar Co - "We could advertise it as 100% salt free."

'Relax. This swine flu vaccine has minimal side effects.'

'My tinnitus is so loud it keeps my wife awake.'

School nurse to teacher: 'Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well.'

"It's the only way I can get some of my patients to listen to me!"

Exercising your heart.

Lethal Drops of Alcohol.

"That's a crazy idea but it might work."

'It's a sort of stabbing pain.'

Smoking linked to dementia

Medication.

'Lose some weight before you go flying again. Or at least get a bigger cape.'

" 40% of the population is overweight...you appear to account for 17% of that figure"

"Mad cow, deer tick, monkey pox, what's next?"

'Clearly my client would be slim, healthy and attractive if MacBurger had adequately warned him of the dangers of eating every scrap of food in their restaurant.'

'The nicotine patch wasn't working for Ted so his doctor prescribed a full body wrap.'

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

'Medicine needs research, and research needs people like you, Mrs Watts, to make sure they've got it right.'

US obesity.

'I don't know where he gets it from Doc, he eats the same as the rest of us!'

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.