Healer's Hotline Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Dr. Johnson referred me to Dr. Goldberg, Dr. Goldberg referred me to Dr Brown...."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Before the riots/after the riots

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

It would be so great if, just once, someone didn't waltz in here complaining about something. Emergency.

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

'Got anything for a headache?'

Chicken soup is in an intravenous drip.

"Race you to the spleen!"

'Hello?...Customer service?...Uhhh...How do you open the box?'

'Have you looked in the mirror since you comforted the sick this morning, pastor?'

On hold, Rick listens to "As Time Goes By" over and over again.

'I won't be coming to see you again. I've purchased a therapeutic mattress.'

'Thanks for not letting cancer define who you are.'

'This is God I Missed you in church last Sunday.'

"If I make it into medical school it'll be as a cadaver!"

'I told you he wouldn't waste any time starting his practice.'

'Thank you for contacting The Pearly Gates. Your call may be monitored for training purposes...'

"I feel bad. My stomach hurts. I'm pretty sure it was something I didn't eat."

Mourning Covid Deaths

'Me friend! Me animal doctor....'

'For fever, we scrape the bark from this branch, boil it with shreeded leaves, and sprinkle in powdered root. Then, just to be sure, we add some antibiotics.'

"Despite advances in modern medicine I'm afraid we're still nable to offer a cue for a 'heart torn apart by the medacity of a temptress who captured your soul."

"Woopsee! Wrong button. And after you got through all those menus, too! Too bad. Good luck next time! hahaha!"

'Federal Communications Commission - May I help you?'

'No,I don't know where you can buy good quality cannabis.'

"I want you to put your faith in the miracle of modern medicine. By which I mean you should hope for a miracle."

Doctors in poor communities of Latin America

'OK, I clicked on the help page. Now - how do I get it to just listen?'

"Thank you for helping me grieve."

"How long had he been waiting to have his call answered?"