Headstone Observer Gifts

Chauffeurs smaller headstone next to boss's big headstone

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

Rapunzcow

'I like your attitude, Brigley.'

Above reproach.

This will really mess with their minds someday.

Dark money donor

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

Trump attempting to pull down the thinker

"The boss is not very bright." "True, but if he was smart you wouldn't have a job."

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

"And another thing, Beckton, I don't recall ever saying, 'Correct me if I'm wrong.' "

Abstraction and recognition

Wrong note.

"Yeah, right, Noah. Like THAT'S gonna work!"

"Good point, Remson. You couldn't be more right if you were me."

'Hey, fellas, I wouldn't do that if I were you. He can be really dangerous when provoked!'

Hurdles with Steps

'Why John, I remember you when you were this high.'

"Any questions?"

The contrast between a barrister and his clerk

"I deal in truth, I leave facts to subordinates."

'Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator.'

Romantic Comet

'I'm sure that once the 'new hire' stigma fades, they'll warm up a bit,,,'

"You missed our anniversary again."

'I've come to the conclusion, Harvey, that you, are your own worst enemy.'

I had hoped to file a missing persons report by now, but he won't leave.

'I've got threepence'

'Ironically, he had vertigo.'

"He's the big dog."

"It's not exactly what I had in mind"

"Hey, shorty...quit pushing!"