Hazard Suit Humorist Pillows

"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

'This is your lucky day!'

'You forgot the product label.'

Basketball injuries.

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'Yes, my opinion today is the opposite of what I said yesterday. In my position, this is called 'flexibility', in your position, it would be called 'unreability''.

A Not So Grand Slam.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Athlete

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

Cotton candy

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'Get back...there's a thermometer in that filing cabinet that could leap out, smash on the floor and give someone a mild headache.'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

'He's in a meeting. Would you like to speak to his assistant?'

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

Dual Airbags

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

Gingerbread man in Emergency room.

'Excuse me,Sir, but me and the rest of the work force think this dress code probably violates OSHA rules.'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'They might satisfy Health and Safety, but I still think the Hi-Vis jackets send a mixed message.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

"Well done!"

'I told you to wear your hard hat.'