Hazard Suit Humorist Pillows

"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

'This is your lucky day!'

'You forgot the product label.'

Basketball injuries.

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Yes, my opinion today is the opposite of what I said yesterday. In my position, this is called 'flexibility', in your position, it would be called 'unreability''.

A Not So Grand Slam.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

Athlete

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

Cotton candy

Freak Accident Specialist

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'Get back...there's a thermometer in that filing cabinet that could leap out, smash on the floor and give someone a mild headache.'

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

'He's in a meeting. Would you like to speak to his assistant?'

Dual Airbags

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

Gingerbread man in Emergency room.

'Excuse me,Sir, but me and the rest of the work force think this dress code probably violates OSHA rules.'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'They might satisfy Health and Safety, but I still think the Hi-Vis jackets send a mixed message.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

"Well done!"