Having A Baby T-Shirts

'Perhaps you could give him a touch of astigmatism. Kids with glasses are sooo cute!'

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

Child Development: 'He's developing just fine, those babies in the commercials aren't really talking.'

'Let me go over your symptoms again; you have a 'gugu' and you're feeling a little 'bugaga'.'

'Statistically, drooling is only cute for the first six months. After that we'll have to start screaming in public to get any kind of attention.'

'We need nappies for you and nappies for me.'

Maternity ward.

When More Government Is A Good Thing

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

'We exchanged our disposable income for disposable diapers.'

'Something tells me he's going to be a basketball player.'

Parents sleeping with a new baby.

Baby with projectile vomit

'We've got pretty much everything we need except someone to pay for college.'

Big Mother is Watching You

BABY BOOK VOLUME XIV

'Dad's always wanting to take pictures. it's so hard to smile with your mouth full.'

'While you were in the hospital having our fullback, uh...firstborn, I decorated this room.'

"Not to alarm you, but the other newborns are already ahead."

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

'Seriously? You might want to throw a bit of pink on that to help people out.'

'Get her a teddy bear I said, not a bear in a teddy!'

'Go right in, but I must warn you she's quite upset that you're so late.'

'Since we couldn't afford health care insurance, we induced labor in our car so our auto insurance would cover any maternity costs.'

'If you text for a glass of water one more time, Daddy's going to take away your cell phone.'

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

Toxic waste

'I'm not too sure about that.'

"Sorry. He's been cursing like that ever since we put him in that little sailor suit."

'It's sad to think of raising him in a world with looming tort reform.'

'Brings back childhood memories, doesn't it?'

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"Choo choo doesn't work any more. Try money!"

"@BabyEthan just endorsed you for the skill: Obstetric Sonography."

"He takes after your mother"