Hardworking Professionals Pillows

"As a member we can offer yoou long hours, hard work, self less devotion..." "What about the perks?" "Those are the perks"

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Butterfly Woman

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"I hate performance review season."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

My brilliant career

Time for vacation, time for work.

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'Your resume seems in order, Mr. Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here> Mr. Lupo...?

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

Boss to employee: 'I'm downsizing your paycheck.'

"These are excellent qualifications... so good that our largest competitor would gladly pay you twice as much."

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

The state off graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my coleegues agree that there maths isn't much better!

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

'Your job description is fairly simple: Stay in your cubicle and try not to make things worse.'

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."