Happy Hour Regular Gifts

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

The Double-Negative Bar & Grille. Not Unhappy Hour 5-6.

'...And then, my income and outgo collided!'

HAPPY HOUR 4:30-5:30, 'Oh, the prices don't change -- we just serve the beer in cartoon-character glasses.'

Happy hour.

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

Complementary Beverages

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Happy Hour

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

Best Before 5th Pint.

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Clown waits for 'Happy Hour' to begin.

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Beers

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

The Reaper's Arms

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."